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“The place are you from?” the cashier behind the counter requested me innocently. I used to be ordering a bit of raspberry white chocolate cake within the outdated quarter of Quebec Metropolis. I discovered myself dumb-struck by the easy query requested by the younger French Canadian with massive inexperienced eyes. What does he need to know? Does he need to know the place I’m travelling from? Or the place I normally dwell? Or my nationality? Or the place I used to be born? Or what I name a hometown?
Since I grew up, labored, lived and raised a household in a number of totally different locations across the globe, I discover myself more and more confused when I’m requested that query. Generally, I look with envy at an individual who can merely say, “I come from Lunenburg, N.S.” I ponder what it will be wish to be born, go to highschool, work, increase a household and die in a single city. There have been instances when that was the perfect. You’re recognized to your neighbours all by way of your life. They know your father, mom and grandparents. You’re by no means a stranger, apart from a short time when you journey. In case you ever needed to go away your hometown, that was a supply of nice sorrow for your loved ones and your self.
However I used to be born underneath the star of wanderlust, no less than that was my mom’s prognosis for my tendency to not keep in a single place lengthy. I travelled extensively in my 20s and selected a job that required 100 per cent journey. Discovering a spot to belong might have been my chief motivation on the time. It’s nonetheless a thriller to me why I felt like a stranger in Seoul, the town wherein I used to be born and raised.
Possibly it was due to my father, who by no means discovered a spot for himself all through his life. He didn’t get alongside along with his personal father and left dwelling in his youth. Somewhat over 10 years following his marriage to my mom was maybe probably the most stationary interval in his life, though he travelled typically for work. He left us whereas he was nonetheless looking for one thing – we have no idea what it was precisely. He frequented Japan, China and different nations in Southeast Asia earlier than he died fairly all of the sudden of most cancers. He didn’t go away his daughters any wealth or excessive standing, two essential components for younger Korean ladies to construct their life upon. However he gave us his dreamy eyes – and the sturdy perception that there’s someplace distant the place each can discover actual happiness.
Naturally, I used to be not pleased with my place within the social hierarchy of contemporary South Korea. I had a job that might lead nowhere, a humble place to dwell and a set of excellent middle-class buddies. After my finest try at social climbing (by making an attempt to get right into a prestigious college) failed, I began to look overseas.
On the finish of the travelling spree in my 20s, I made a decision to settle in Toronto. I didn’t know anybody there. I merely made my determination primarily based on my expertise of visits and after doing some research on the nation’s multiculturalism, wealthy pure assets and inhabitants. With 9.985 sq. kilometres of landmass and greater than 38-million individuals, there needed to be a spot for me!
Canada took me and my husband – newlyweds from Korea – and handled us nicely. It supplied us with schooling, secure jobs and quite a lot of optimism. We realized a brand new language, North American pragmatism and learn how to get together with multitudes of immigrants from all totally different cultures and backgrounds. In our neighbourhood, we met a lady who escaped the genocide in Rwanda, a Coptic Christian pharmacist from Egypt, newlyweds from war-torn former Yugoslavia and a Buddhist monk from Tibet – and all whereas we walked canines, waited for the college bus and pulled toboggans. With many tales of their hearts, all lived with immense gratitude and reduction that life could possibly be regular and even mundane right here. We had our daughter and raised her within the suburbs of Toronto. She tells anybody who asks, and not using a second of hesitation, that she is a Canadian.
As quickly as my daughter turned an adolescent and required little care from me, my wanderlust returned. I wished to go to the States to work on my graduate diploma. My husband, who flew throughout the Pacific with out an excessive amount of thought in his 30s, knew too nicely the dangers and hardships concerned in shifting to yet one more nation in his 50s. However he additionally knew that having an sad spouse at dwelling may be tougher than having a cheerful spouse distant. So, we agreed that it was finest for him to remain till our daughter left for faculty. I might be away just for a few years in any case.
After ending my masters in Nevada, I went to California. I used to be a foreigner, as soon as once more. Each tour was an journey. Each restaurant meal was a brand new expertise.
“San Francisco,” I answered that French Canadian cashier since I had been within the San Francisco Bay space for a little bit greater than a 12 months at that time.
“Oh,” he mentioned, handing again my bank card. “What’s your native language?” he ventured.
“Korean,” I answered.
“Gam-sa-hahm-ni-da!” he mentioned with first rate pronunciation. I smiled extensively. “Gam-sa-hahm-ni-da!” I mentioned, with a small bow that sometimes accompanies the phrase in Korea.
“That is Canada,” I assumed as I stepped out into the frizzed chilly air in Quebec.
I might transfer two extra instances within the States, then, sooner or later I received up and realized that it was time to return dwelling. I flew to Toronto the following morning. It’s winter now. Blizzards will occur however individuals nonetheless stroll canines, look forward to the college bus and pull toboggans. Immense gratitude fills my coronary heart. Maybe, I lastly discovered my place in any case.
Candace Suh-Lee lives in Toronto.
